:: a heavy heart ::

I am having a blah day

...actually make that week

...no let's be honest here - it's really been a month.

Life most days is just a little bit too hard.

Of course there are moments & days where everything is full of joy & my heart is full of love for my little ones & life. But on the whole, for the first time in my life, I am really battling to stay on top of things.

Those 'things' being

... the house & constant need to clean & tidy & organise

... my children who have just entered the stage of sibling rivalry. I feel overwhelmed to think of all the training that is needed to reach my goal of them loving & appreciating each other as friends.

... the newness of my life here. I'm missing the support of my family, having friends that I have done life with for many years. People who just know me & I know them.

Because I am a positive person most of the time I feel the need to balance all of these struggles with the things that I appreciate & am grateful about in this new season of life.

... I love being at home with my kids & my husband most days.

... I love exploring a new city & a new country.

... I love getting to know new people with the hope that they will be 'old' friends one day.

It's just hard though & I guess that is what I needed to get off my chest.

The constantness of motherhood is wearing me down. The sleepless nights, the nappies, food, shopping, training, loving, mediating & playing. The thinking about intentional parenting & what my boys need right now.

And you know I guess I just wonder how everyone else does it? Is it easy for them? How do they battle through this fog? Is it an age thing?

Enlighten me... encourage me... I am needing some direction about mothering, moving to a new country & living life.